Mary Poppin Cherry

Sitting down for a late Sunday brunch on the patio at Hamburger Mary's, I hear the cute boy next to me say, "My penis isn't curved — in fact, it's the only straight thing on me." And instantly, I realize that I'm at the center of the universe for extraordinary eavesdropping. The banter here, particularly at brunch, is unbeatable. While I listen in, I order Mary's Pearl Necklace ($6), made with Smirnoff Raspberry, triple sec and pineapple juice. I cringe as I sip the overly sweet concoction — but even a sugary-sweet drink can't diminish my pleasure in watching all the nightcrawlers come straight from bed, forced out into the daylight to cure their hangovers with cocktails, crepes and burritos. I order another drink and find success with the Mary Poppin Cherry ($7.50), made with Smirnoff Black Cherry, Red Bull and grenadine. Still, the guys who are at least three drinks in at the next table harass me for not ordering the special $4 Long Island Iced Tea that seems to be working wonders for their hangovers. As I avoid them by walking to the bathroom, I hear a perfect description of the new deck's design: "This patio's decor looks like Versace threw up." While the decor may well be over the top, this is one of the biggest, best patios along 17th Avenue, with misters (plenty of Misters, too), a small lounge area and lots of tables. As I pass another table, I overhear another doozy: "You can't come to Hamburger Mary's and not have some fruit." Let me tell you, this is one delicious fruit cocktail.